You would agree that at some point in our life, we go through negative experiences and emotions that shake us to our core. The pain, suffering, and misery are so overpowering in some cases that many never recover. The experiences, predominantly negative and during the early years, shape how a person evolves in later years. The first thing the therapy counselor wants to know (if you have ever been to one) is your childhood experiences, especially the traumatic ones, and where you felt the most pain, humiliation, inferiority, or embarrassment.
Even we, ourselves, do negative self-talk and create negative emotions. We are hesitant to admit our laziness, continued procrastination, and lack of will and blame how external factors stop us from doing all the great things we ever wanted to do.
However, we are always advised to suppress negative emotions and only remember the positive ones. We know it is hard, but we bury them within ourselves and move on without realizing the power of transformation they offer. Negative experiences and emotions are inevitable, but how we respond determines if we will use them as a source of strength or allow them to hold us back. Negative experiences don’t always feel good in real-time but offer immense opportunities for personal growth and uncover an even greater limitless potential.
I subconsciously and thankfully learned to harness my negative experiences and emotions early in my life and use them to convince myself that I must change my reality. I was bullied many times and made fun of. I felt sad several times for not having the means to do things and how our family’s situation was in my early life. for instance, I was embarrassed when I did not even have the bus fare to go with my friend to Delhi, who was traveling just to buy a jacket. There are several other such experiences where I felt inferior and that I’m not enough.
I have felt ashamed for not being able to converse in English correctly. In one incident, I could not understand the American accent or communicate with some people during my first visit in 2006. I had to eat onion rings for two weeks straight for lunch because I could not speak adequately to ask whether there was meat in other options. Similarly, when I started working for an American company, they had a weekly all-staff call, and I HAD TO SPEAK. I was terrified every single time and tried to find an excuse.
There have been several experiences where everyone doubted my abilities or decisions, including my family and friends. Even today, at every step in my journey, to become the best version of myself, people always tell me that I’m thinking beyond the realm of possibilities. They will try and instill self-doubt, discourage you, and want to hold you back. The doubts often come with sharp and disheartening words that could never leave you and, most of the time, do not let you live to your potential.
However, in all these experiences, one other thing was common. I willfully did not want to forget them. I will memorize every little detail. Even to an extent where I would remember what I was wearing, where I was, the surroundings in all colors, what was explicitly said, and every emotion that crossed my mind and heart in its tiniest expression. I promised myself that it would not happen again and that I will change this reality no matter what. Whenever I feel that I’m deviating from my objective for a few days, I will relive these experiences as vividly as I can imagine, not in fast track but in slow motion. I would feel every emotion I had at the time and recall my determination not to let it happen again.
David Goggins suggests in his book to record your inner dialogue in detail by spilling out all dread, laziness, and stress into the mic. He advises playing it back to yourself many times. Chances are that you would not like yourself cringing. This should be used as motivation to change the situation for the better.
Self-talk is essential. Regardless of how loud the negative voices are, know that you have the power to liberate and redefine yourself. Listening to ourselves out loud clears the mind. At this very moment, we know the right thing to do is to keep moving forward with force. These words become actions, and our actions establish habits that can code our minds and bodies and set us on the journey to unearthing our true potential.
I can tell you with my first-hand experience that the negative emotions you have been suppressing or trying to forget have real transformational power.They have helped me shape my life for the better. Sometimes I found my calling regarding what I wanted to achieve, and sometimes it was about not letting something happen to me again. Nevertheless, these negative emotions and experiences gave me light and put me on a path of endless discovery. Now, they have become an extension of me.
I’m in no way advising you always to suffer negative experiences and live miserable lives while you chase your dreams. I’m suggesting they provide a lot of strength and motivation if you can use them at your will.
Don’t avoid, ignore, or suppress your emotions. Instead, face them, accept them, and own them. Rumi said, “the wound is where the light enters you.”
I have successfully used these negative emotions to my advantage and overcame many hurdles in my life. However, I’m not done yet…there is much fuel left in the tank.
#neverarrive #limitlesspotential
I’m grateful for your time in reading this blog. In the comments section, let me know your experience and perspective on the subject. Please share the blog with your friends if you enjoyed reading it.
